From the collection of ghost writings, stories and haunted tales written in 2016 by Bruno Bernard.
Seven O Clock
The dim red sun sets slowly. I don’t know why I keep waking up at seven o’clock in the evening. I’m still feeling weary from last night. Through my bleary eyes I can detect the last vestiges of a warm summer sun flickering through the oak tree and crossing my face with interluding stripes of yellow, green and shadow. The dim red sun is setting. I think I’m in the rear garden. Through my eyelashes I detect flickering hues of red and brown, green and yellow. I am conscious again. My senses gather slowly to confirm that I have slept last night in the garden. A cool wind gently caresses my face as I gradually awaken. I am becoming aware of my surroundings in the fading sunlight. Dusk has arrived. I struggle to make sense of it. The evening is getting chilly as I shudder involuntarily. Yes, I have definitely fallen asleep in the garden. I do not know how or why but I know that I am in the garden and twilight is fast approaching. A gentle lullaby of birds entices my mind. But I just cannot seem to raise myself at the moment as my mind drifts over the events of the day. Nothing; I cannot seem to reach down far enough into my consciousness. My mind dwells and searches. The last rays of sun dance through my eye lashes again and confuse me. Segments and images flicker and I cannot place myself coherently. Now, I open my eyes and look at the tall birch and oak trees before and above me. Shafts of dying sunlight are shafting through the leaves and branches. My limbs are still stiff as I lay on a bamboo reclining chair. I struggle to recall how I fell asleep here. An air of loneliness drifts through my mind. In my moment of stillness I listen to the last song of a robin drifting through the wind from somewhere above in the oak tree. The tree leaves are rustling as the branches of Oak and Birch sway with a gentle evening breeze. My eyes are now more accustomed to the fading light and the shapes of the garden slowly become a distinct pattern. The world is gradually becoming more still and silent. The last whispers in the trees above are becoming a deepening hush as the last traces of sunlight vanish from my life.
Number Thirty-Seven Elgin Lane was not a dreadfully unhappy house; not that I can remember in any case. I have some vague recollections of friends and visitors. The street outside was quiet and cloistered. Elgin Lane was a tolerably fashionable row of tall and elegant Victorian houses of stern sobriety. Standing three levels in height above the street outside, the detached house cut a somber reflection of prosperity. It was a neighborhood where everybody kept to themselves; prim and proper. Leafy and secluded; people lived within a dignified calm of their own making. The house itself was a very large house indeed and offered a whole world of security for the reclusive resident. Amid leafy surroundings the quietness of my seclusion was comfortably reinforced by three large walls surrounding the rear garden. On three sides the tall garden walls were lined with rows of Birch and Oak trees. The rear face of the tall red brick house was covered with ivy and all kinds of creeping plants. In the distance through the dimming light I could see the white kitchen door along the rear face was now thrown open.
Solitude spreads her calm hand across the evening garden space. It is seven o’clock on a September evening. I hear seven chimes as my mind comes together. The shadows in the garden are growing longer and darker by the minute. I shudder in the growing chill of the evening. The sun has set already. My cardigan has fallen to the floor. I look down at my crumpled blue dress and I can feel the goose bumps growing on my cold arms with increasing awareness. My skin is cold to the touch and dry. Through the fading light I detect blotches of crimson red on my upper arm and I frown as I pinch the skin for closer examination. Approaching twilight light casts the entire garden into a world of darkening grey.
Almost from nowhere I now realize that there is a faint sound coming from the house behind me. My mind drifts across the garden to the gentle, lilting strain of a Nat King Cole tune coming from somewhere within the house. I must have left the record player on last night. The quiet voice of the song warms my spirits for a moment. But I struggle to recall the events of last night and how I ended up falling asleep for a whole day in the garden. I uncurl my legs and stretch my toes and rub my knees as I try to usher some life back into my lifeless body. My feet are bare. I pluck at my loose blue dress and wipe away a breadcrumb. I cannot seem to remember that I had eaten a sandwich but on the table beside the chair there is a cold cup of tea and a cucumber sandwich. Slowly my senses come together and the sights and sounds of the garden come back to what little life is left in the final moments of sun set. The dimming sun makes me feel apprehensive and uncertain.
The garden is becoming quiet. I can now see the tabby cat in the corner of the garden. I don’t know why the only friend I have in the world is this maddening tabby cat that just sits there in the corner of the garden. He perpetually hisses and snarls at me whenever I attempt to get closer and stroke it. I feel giddy again. How I hate waking up at seven o’clock like these last few days when the last light is fading across the garden lawn. I struggle to put together my thoughts and memories and that dreadful cat is just staring at me. From over the tall wall I can hear the slightest tinkling sound of distant laughter of children. A few strains of young voices waft across the garden wall in teasing deception. I begin to focus upon the sounds. I strain harder to catch a few distant words dying in the evening wind and then I just about make out a faint call for supper before the evening ushers in the longest silence as the last bird song fades and dies before the rapidly descending darkness. My loneliness is complete. Around me the garden world of color and sound has faded and a cold wind strokes my hair and makes my body quiver in the darkness. I am cold. The wind cuts through my frail waif-like body with ease. I could feel the goose-bumps more frequently as I shudder in the wind. It’s getting cold as darkness approaches. The row of Birch and Oak trees cast dark menacing shadows. I look across the lawn towards the garden path. I could barely see ahead now for there is no light in the kitchen and rear of the house. I can make out the light kitchen door thrown open. The French windows reflect a darkening world in the garden around them. I want to stand up but my limbs ache. I feel sore. My world is quiet and dark and I am now fully awake. Peering ahead of me my eyes enlarge and adjust for a darker vision. I could still notice that the darkening, unkempt grass around the garden path seems to have grown profusely. It must have been a while since I had someone in and mow the lawn. There are a few black weeds sprouting through the cracks of paving stone under the faint moon light. Perhaps it’s been a few days only and yet the weeds have already sprouted. The garden is quickly falling into an unruly state of utter abandon and neglect. I cannot seem to place a finger on the calendar and yet I know it must be late September because the leaves on the grass are dry to the touch.
Darkness has set. The life in my limbs has come back now. All sensation of feeling suddenly springs to attention as I muster the mental will to shake myself loose from my stupor and get up. Rising within my throat I can feel a parched dry sensation of thirst. I need a glass of water. Now, I hastily rise from my garden chair and make my way back into the kitchen at the rear of the house. The approaching night casts long strange shadows from the garden into the kitchen. I stumble across the lawn to the garden path. Inside the kitchen I reach a new resolve and purpose. It is so dark. Nearly clattering into a kitchen table I find my strength. I find a glass on the table and I drink it’s cool contents quickly. I sigh. Looking around me I could make out the shapes in the kitchen darkness now. I resolve to venture into the house and then begin to run towards the hall way in search of the telephone. In the dark I can just about make out a small table and a telephone. Frantically I reach for the telephone. I’m anxious. The quietness has now enveloped the dark hallway. I stand there in silence with the receiver to my ear. Not a sound of a tone can be heard from the phone in the hall. There is not a single light in the blackened house. I’m so annoyed at the blackness of everything! Slamming down the phone in anger I’m beginning to wonder if the whole world is just dead against me to ruin my whole evening. Where is everyone? I keep remembering to call the electric company but they still haven’t fixed the lights. In frustration I can see a mirror near the phone. I look at the large mirror in the hallway in the darkness. I want to fix my straggled hair but I can’t even see myself in the mirror anymore. I peer closer at my shadowy body in the mirror through the faintest moonbeams weakly seeping through the front door glass. I touch my face. My long wavy hair straggles over my bare shoulders. It feels dry and brittle in my fingers. I can feel a few dry leaves knotted in my wavy hair and I frown as I try to weed out the small dry leaves. Hopelessly confused I feel the vagueness in my mind grow again. I pull my hair and let out a muffled howl of discontent. I hate myself. I can’t even remember the last time I went to a salon. My legs feel dreadfully heavy now. I cannot move my body even if I wanted to move. It feels like lead. I lack the will to move all over again. Interminable silence envelops my soul. I’m just a shadow standing in the darkness of my house. I’m humming. The faintest Nat King Cole melody starts all again from somewhere upstairs. My mind releases its tension instantly.
I don’t know how long I have been standing here. Fragments of memories have passed. All I can remember is the moment at sunset at seven o clock when I wake up again in the garden with that cup of tea that has turned so cold. I really don’t know what has become of me or how I managed to lose the entire day because I keep snoozing off. The house is so dark and strange as I continue to wonder why nobody has called me or left a message today. When the world leaves you in silence it is almost as if everything has died in your life. I’m listless as my frail figure cries out in numbing pain. My arms and legs are hurting. In voluntarily I want to cry. A few fragments of thoughts connect a few sounds and sights as my memories try to kindle some warmth deep within me in search of comfort. I can hear that tune again from somewhere upstairs drifting through the hallway now. It comes and goes. I thought I heard a voice and I look towards the staircase leading upstairs. Then the thickening silence of the house descends again and the melody has ceased. I have a few confused memories. My boyfriend and my girlfriends were there in the living room. Then the memories fade away into nothingness. I’m starting to feel tired. My feet feel as heavy as lead. I’m still by the mirror. I run my two hands down the sides of my frock and I pull in frustration but the words that I want to scream just cannot pour out of my mouth. My spirits are sagging and caving in at once. My body feels languid. My eyes have become accustomed to the darkness now but I’m becoming tired of this uncertainty. I am not frightened at all as even in the darkness of the house. There is a welcome familiarity as I desperately seek to remember my life. It is not the darkness that I fear; it’s the numbing emptiness and loneliness. The silence feels oppressive. Yawning chasms of emptiness open inside my heart. My stomach feels knotted with the confusion sweeping through my mind.
In the dark hallway ahead I can see the growing pile of unopened letters on the door mat. The faintest vestige of moonlight has penetrated the thick glass window on the front door and cast a cold, silvery touch on the pile of glistening envelops. I feel a cold distaste realizing that all I have left in my life is a continuous stream of posted letters. Soon there would be a mountain of untouched correspondence. It wouldn’t hurt for someone to visit me even for the briefest moment. But nobody really cares. Nobody feels for my life. I hate the postman. He never even knocks. My mind feels so numb and listless through the chillness of isolation. Vast oceans of happiness filled this house. I can remember slivers of joyful scenes. But now I cannot even find the mental energy to make myself bend down and gather all the letters on the floor. What a miserable clutter. I am swamped by vast oceans of unfeeling communication. Just a single door is all that stands between me and that wretched world from where everyone seems to want to write to me. Only a few planks of wood demarcate the boundary of my morose world. I am forlorn in this darkness. My world is enveloped in utter silence. Nobody calls me or visits me anymore. Have I become so hated and hateful? What on earth have I done? I thought I had a boyfriend. What was his name? I try to recall and clutch at some fleeting thoughts but my heavy mind struggles to remember his name. it’s as if I had fallen down into a bottomless abyss. I lift my hand to my brow and slowly rub my temple. The loneliness hurts. It’s as if the entire world has disconnected me all of a sudden and left me within this monstrous nightmare that I cannot seem to wake up from. All I have in my life is the distant sounds of the children next door playing in the garden until their mother calls them in for supper. Then there is that horrid tabby cat. He always hisses at me when I try to reach out towards it. I really want to throttle that cat! But what use would that do? The whole world might as well be dead to me. I stare at myself through the hallway mirror in the darkness. No moon beam reaches beyond the front door mat as far as my body. I am just a dark shadow and utterly alone waiting for someone to call me or visit me. I am forgotten as I pull at my crumpled blue dress with discomfort. It’s so dark and cold now and I’m beginning to shiver.
The clock chimes eleven. How long have I been standing here in the hallway? My thoughts are in disarray as I mutter on with seeping anxiety. Time has no remorse for the hours I have lost. Forsaken souls are only reflected by the mountains of unopened letters. I turn my head back to the mirror and peer at myself through the darkened glass. Standing in front of the mirror, trying to remember how pretty I look in the sunlight, I feel as if I am disconnected even from myself. The numbing cold has paralyzed my body. I just stand in the darkness and stare at my shadow until the flitting memories eventually succumb through the tiredness. I am alone. There is no question about it. I have been abandoned as I stare at myself and let my eyelids grow heavy. I’m feeling so drowsy now I just want to go back into the rear garden and sit in the moonlight. At least I won’t feel the dreadful loneliness gnawing at my soul if I can watch the moon and the stars. Perhaps someone might come visit me tomorrow. I used to have so many friends. Where on earth are my friends now? What has happened that I could feel so isolated?
The clock has chimed twelve. I could feel my legs moving again away from the mirror away from the dark hallway and into the kitchen at the rear of the house. Yes I am moving. It’s as if my body has moved but my mind is still beside the mirror. I am being drawn to the outside world. Surging within my mind is a compulsion to go back into the garden. The monotony within the house is deplorable. I have to escape. The hallway passes and then I am within the kitchen. The back door is still open leading to the garden. Outside the wind in my face refreshes my mind. I have managed to tread through the darkness and now I am beside the porch of the open kitchen door leading to the rear garden. I close my eyes and welcome the soft wind in my hair. The quietness is inviting and peaceful. I don’t want to look behind me at the house again. My world is a series of dark shadows and my lonely, forgotten soul a dark figure of melancholy as I tread slowly across the silent lawn to my seat and repose. I feel so lonely save for that tabby cat. How I hate that cat but I need him to reassure me that I am not going mad. I could just about make him out sitting there in the corner, always watching me through the darkness with his soft rumbling purr, but never coming towards me to allow me to stroke it and make friends. I hate that cat but I have nobody left to talk to in this dreadful evening. I’m afraid he would just lunge at me and scratch my face if I dare go any closer to him. So I have to be content watching him watching me. This is so dreadfully tiring. My body is aching all over. I’m feeling weary again. For heaven’s sake why won’t that cat become my friend? In my mind I’m caught between rampaging moods of anger and affection. Like the fickle winds one moment I am downcast and another I am elevated. But for now sadness descends all over again and I frown alone in the dark. My mood is sullen. I cast my eyes over the dark lawn and feel the slightest dew on my bare feet. On the garden path I can see the weeds sprouting with abandon around the paving stone. Slowly, gingerly, I edge my frail body towards the dark chair and I hover over the cold cup of tea and half-eaten cucumber sandwich. It’s so quiet now. I’m too tired to drink and eat. I just want to rest and hope that I can wake a little earlier. I am getting so tired of this circuitous existence. I don’t know how many days this has been going on for but the incoherence is beginning to stifle my life.
Lying on my chair in the garden in the darkness I yearn to see a face, a smile, a simple gesture again. I cannot seem to remember the last time I actually saw someone. Perhaps tomorrow I will wake up just in time to call the electrician and hear a human voice again. How could everyone have forgotten me so soon? Number Thirty-Seven Elgin Lane was not a dreadful retreat and yet none of my friends could come knocking on my door and check in on myself. My thoughts are growing with disconnection as I try to stop myself from edging closer and closer to the precipice. I am falling down in my mind. Again I snap to attention and try listen to the silence of the evening with nonchalance; searching, seeking, straining, yearning for an echo that mirrors my pitiful soul. I’m pulling at my dress; my knees are feeling cold. I pick up my cardigan from the lawn and cover my knees. A chilly breeze reminds me that the summer has ended. I fold my arms across my chest with despairing protest. The wind drifts through the tall Birch and Oak trees now and then as my only friend in the world. Dark and grey nebulous shapes drift across the moon to cloud away the last remnant of light. I am alone in a dark world. Distant recollections of my life have all but sunk within a pall of infinite loneliness. There is only the present and I am watching a dark world move around my life in silence. Like the trees whispering in the shadows I am a silent witness to a world that has become oblivious to my very nature. I think about my dry hair and how I must visit the salon and then my last conscious thoughts drift away into the dark clouds racing above me. A heavy shroud covers the last few thoughts. My eye lids are growing heavier. I’m slipping into a sullen stupor again. I close my eyes for a moment in weariness wondering how the day of my life has fallen under a canopy of darkness. Tears of joy and pain can no longer stir my heart. I cannot cry anymore. I must sleep now. It’s getting so late. I’m so weary of this infinite loneliness I wish it would end. From a distant corner in my mind Nat King Cole coaxes me to rest in silence. But the peace does not last. Again, moments gone, I am feeling distraught in the silence and so dreadfully tired and yet the melody is inviting. My emotions run wild like the wind. I gently rub my arms in my state of drowsiness and think about tomorrow. The botches on my skin must be a rash and it is hurting. I am feeling giddy again as I rub my forehead. God, I cannot wake up at seven o clock all over again, please! My mind is slipping. A cat sits in the corner, a tree, window, house, dark, sky, blur. My thoughts are scattered across a fading landscape bereft of color. I am sinking. Pieces of my life try to escape the descending veil of sleep. Hurtling head-long into a nethermost oblivion I can feel the isolation stretching across the universe of my mind. How long will this loneliness last? Trapped under the weight of despair my breast heaves in quiet remonstrance. Nobody can hear me. Drowning in a roiling sea of hurtful emotions I reluctantly close my eyelids. I want to pray but my whispers are lost in the wind. Ink black stretches of night spread over the last flickering thoughts as all sense of color and life weaken, pale and fade. Through my flickering eyelashes I can see the last flitting clouds in the dark skies above as they carry my thoughts away to a peaceful resting place. Eternal are the skies that carry my last thoughts and prayers. I have surrendered; I can fight no longer. Swathes of black are folding over my body. Time has run its course, mercifully. I can take no more. I must sleep. Night must claim what is Hers by right as I abandon my last conscious thoughts and sink into a deeper ocean of emptiness. The last patch of grey above is overcome by a canopy of blackness. Finally, for the moment at least, I fall asleep. My world of darkness is complete.
Written By Bruno Bernard - 2016
